Hang On For Dear Life

First of all, I would like to - once again - thank all of my family, friends, loves, supporters, strangers and anyone else who has taken the time to stop by this little corner of the internet I call my own and read what I've written. As well as those who have liked photographs and postings on both Facebook and Instagram (@br00ki), texted, called, hugged and encouraged me to continue on this journey to health. It's much appreciated and impossible without you. (I know this seems like deja vu for some, but I like to remind you all how awesome you are from time to time!)

It's largely due to support from people like you that I continue to track my progress. Last week, my family suffered a loss, and I derailed from my healthy track. I consumed pizza, pasta, coffee, chocolate, beer, wine, liquor, coffee, processed foods, sugars and more coffee. I then returned home from the few days I was at home and had more beer, wine, liquor, pizza and more coffee. I thought I'll be fine. It's just a few days. It won't completely screw me over.

Was I wrong.

Sunday was spent in a hangover fog. Not just from the different kinds of alcohol I consumed the night before. For the first time since I started on this health journey, I actually had a food hangover.

I've heard people say ridiculous things like that before. "Sugar hangover." "Carb crash." Similar phrases that had nothing to do with me, as I did not experience those symptoms after eating a whole pint of ice cream chased with a Domino's pizza.

Until I ate that way for five days straight after completing a detox. I had headaches, stomach problems, bloating, joint pain, fatigue. I am still thirsty. I can't stop being thirsty, although I have drank three liters of water a day since Sunday. I couldn't form complete sentences yesterday. Today, I've developed a serious head cold and have mucus like you wouldn't believe.

Straight. Up. Food hangonger.

I have never been so happy to shove leafy green vegetables in my face as I have for the past few days. I've completely steered clear of coffee and limited my carb and dairy intake once again. Smoothies and elixir every morning. Haven't gotten back to the gym yet this week, which is partially due to feeling awful and partially due to sleep disabling my alarm (funny how your body goes on autopilot when you really need sleep) every day this week. I did have a two mile run at my parent's house mid-binge, most of which was uphill, meaning I haven't completely fallen off the exercise wagon. The fact that my shorts catching on the way off was my only prevention is irrelevant.

I don't see these instances as failures. I belive that is one of the biggest areas I've grown since beginning this journey to a happier, healthier me. Before, I would have been completely pissed at myself for sliding so far back that I would have just said forget it all. I would have relentlessly beaten myself to a pulp mentally so I felt too worthless to continue on. I wouldn't have allowed myself to get back up.

I am happy to report that not only have I gotten back up, I have also - by the grace of all the Fitness Gods - maintained the weight I was at before leaving for home. Maybe that one short run I took was enough to prevent the scales from tipping too far? Maybe I was conscious enough of my food intake that I didn't dig myself into a hole too deeply. Maybe I ate so many awful things that my body just expelled them all, which is a very possible scenario.

Or maybe I just got lucky. Either way, I'm back up on that wagon again. I'm learning new things about myself and my habits that make it a little easier to hang on for longer periods of time. I'm learning that it truely is a journey, a ride.

And sometimes the only thing we can do is hang on for dear life.